Saturday 14 November 1668

Up, and had a mighty mind to have seen or given her a little money, to which purpose I wrapt up 40s. in paper, thinking to have given her a little money, but my wife rose presently, and would not let me be out of her sight, and went down before me into the kitchen, and come up and told me that she was in the kitchen, and therefore would have me go round the other way; which she repeating and I vexed at it, answered her a little angrily, upon which she instantly flew out into a rage, calling me dog and rogue, and that I had a rotten heart; all which, knowing that I deserved it, I bore with, and word being brought presently up that she was gone away by coach with her things, my wife was friends, and so all quiet, and I to the Office, with my heart sad, and find that I cannot forget the girl, and vexed I know not where to look for her. And more troubled to see how my wife is by this means likely for ever to have her hand over me, that I shall for ever be a slave to her — that is to say, only in matters of pleasure, but in other things she will make [it] her business, I know, to please me and to keep me right to her, which I will labour to be indeed, for she deserves it of me, though it will be I fear a little time before I shall be able to wear Deb, out of my mind. At the Office all the morning, and merry at noon, at dinner; and after dinner to the Office, where all the afternoon, doing much business, late. My mind being free of all troubles, I thank God, but only for my thoughts of this girl, which hang after her. And so at night home to supper, and then did sleep with great content with my wife. I must here remember that I have lain with my moher as a husband more times since this falling out than in I believe twelve months before. And with more pleasure to her than I think in all the time of our marriage before.

15 Annotations

Murasaki_1966   Link to this

Moher? can anyone cast some light on this word?

Robert Gertz   Link to this

Wife. Sam's saying he hasn't had this much sex with Bess in a while...Nor has she ever gotten so much out of it. I'd guess from this one and his note that he knows Bess will do everything possible to please him that he's hinted to her...Or flat out said...There was a deficiency in the physical relationship and Bess took him up on it with a vengeance. So amongst that raging (Bess# and those frantic weeping sessions #Sam) has been some pretty passionate contact. It's interesting...I get the feeling for all her legit anger and hurt, Bess is feeling guilty that perhaps she hasn't given Sam what he needs...Even neglected him. Meanwhile our little scamp is already scheming to find ways to seek out the current bright toy snatched from him.

Decent of Sam to admit, even to himself, that his fear of Bess' gaining the upper hand has only to do with matters of "pleasure" and that on the whole, he believes poor Bess only wants to do her damnest to be a good and loving wife to him...And heartbreaking to see his better nature and love for her struggling here with his honest admission that he can't kill his desire for Deb.

One does of course sense Sam is relishing this whole thing as a great dramatic and comedic artist. For all the nightmare, it's the opportunity of a lifetime for our Diarist and he's determined to capture every moment.

Chris Squire   Link to this

'Moher' = 'wife' in P's private code; it mean's the wife of thr male person in context not just P's wife. In the Large Glossary, L&M define “moher” this way: “(Sp. mujer); vi [1665], 318, woman, wife,”
http://www.pepysdiary.com/diary/1666/07/02/ Note by Terry Foreman.

See: http://www.google.co.uk/search?q=moher+site%3Ap...

Terry Foreman   Link to this

John Evelyn's Diary

14th November, 1668. To London, invited to the consecration of that excellent person, the Dean of Ripon, Dr. Wilkins [ http://www.pepysdiary.com/encyclopedia/1626/ ], now made- Bishop of Chester; it was at Ely House
[ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ely_Palace ], the Archbishop of Canterbury, Dr. Cosin, Bishop of Durham, the Bishops of Ely, Salisbury, Rochester, and others officiating. Dr. Tillotson preached. Then, we went to a sumptuous dinner in the hall, where were the Duke of Buckingham, Judges, Secretaries of •State, Lord-Keeper, Council, Noblemen, and innumerable other company, who were honorers of this incomparable man, universally beloved by all who knew him.

This being the Queen's birthday, great was the gallantry at Whitehall, and the night celebrated with very fine fireworks.

My poor brother continuing ill, I went not from him till the 17th, when, dining at the Groom Porters, I heard Sir Edward Sutton play excellently on the Irish harp; he performs genteelly, but not approaching my worthy friend, Mr. Clark, a gentleman of Northumberland, who makes it execute lute, viol, and all the harmony an instrument is capable of; pity it is that it is not more in use; but, indeed, to play well, takes up the whole man, as Mr. Clark has assured me, who, though a gentleman of quality and parts, was yet brought up to that instrument from five years old, as I remember he told me.

http://goo.gl/8p5zq

Murasaki_1966   Link to this

Thanks everyone for the clarification. I've only started reading the Diary this year. I have to say, I misread it as "mother", and was rather startled....then I thought it must be about Bess. Thanks for setting me straight.

Jenny   Link to this

"that I have lain with my moher as a husband more times"

This is called "hysterical bonding" and goes with the infidelity territory.

David Vaeth   Link to this

Given Sam's openness in describing a multitude of sins over the years, I've assumed he's honest (with us and with himself) about most everything in his diary. But, surprisingly, until now there was hardly any indication of his increasing romantic feelings toward Deb.

languagehat   Link to this

"And more troubled to see how my wife is by this means likely for ever to have her hand over me, that I shall for ever be a slave to her — that is to say, only in matters of pleasure, but in other things she will make [it] her business, I know, to please me and to keep me right to her, which I will labour to be indeed, for she deserves it of me, though it will be I fear a little time before I shall be able to wear Deb out of my mind."

This remarkable sentence all by itself justifies the time we've put into reading the Diary. Downright Proustian levels of analysis and self-revelation.

arby   Link to this

"I have no hand, no hand at all! She has the hand, I have no hand!" to quote George. Is there any human condition Seinfeld didn't touch on?

martinb   Link to this

"my wife was friends, and so all quiet"

This is interesting too, and seems to pre-date the OED's first recorded use of "to be friends". Looks entirely "modern" in meaning: the calm after the storm of her anger.

r l battle   Link to this

And so the Deb Willet era ends. It's interesting to reread the entries related to the melodrama.
10/25 "my wife" discovers Sam & Deb in a very compromising situation. There follows three days of ranting that Sam takes full responsibilty for & hopes will blow over
10/28 things quiet down as Bess waits for Sam to dismiss Deb. She waits for six days.
11/3 Bess decides she's waited long enough & begins the full court press dogging his every moment at home, never letting him out of her sight. Sam, as the king of his castle, does the hiring/firing and needs to know that if Deb stays it will be a very unpleasant household.
11/12 Finally, after eight days of crying,wailing and knashing of teeth, Sam caves and very reluctantly dismisses Deb.

JWB   Link to this

LH

Pepys : Proust :: Little Debbie : Madeleine

Jenny   Link to this

"And so the Deb Willet era ends..."

-Spoiler- Ah, not quite yet.

Australian Susan   Link to this

Sorry this is late - reading Evelyn's diary entry (thanks, Terry), I note the fireworks for the Queen's birthday. Had he not had such overwhelming domestic concerns, I am sure we would have heard about this from Sam who would have made sure he witnessed this - fireworks were still a novelty. But, apart from the demands of his regular work, Sam has been neglecting the public arena, so much of a maelstrom is he in. It reminds me of Keats's last months in England - his letters, his friends' letters, diaries etc are all taken up with his wretched health and the vain hope of the trip to Italy. Yet, during that summer there played out in the public arena, the trial of Queen Catherine - one of the most momentous events of the 1820s : not heeded by those so stricken as Keats's circle were.

Mary   Link to this

For Catherine read Caroline.

Caroline of Brunswick, never actually crowned Queen of England.

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